I will never forget yesterday ... which i totally no enough brave to face it ... my beloved one was married .. which are the man was i deeply in love with him !!... Last two month ago ... i was don be live when my mum was telling me that he was ready to get marry with her no 5 gf.. i think ... Haiz, at that same moment ... my heart beating was not totally under my control !!
At the same time , same moment .. i was wish i could reach to him , try to hold him , event i know i could , i wish i can try to tell him , that i wish to be with him again , i love him ... really ..... ... is it everything is too late !! Yesterday , he already married , with the Girl i not really like !! Why, he deserve to some one better than now he have , why ?? he was going to choose a thousand million girl from her ...Why ... !!! A lot of question mark come up in my mine ...!!! when i get him invitation card , i dunno what i can do , did i need to attend it but my heart was dunno how to wish them !! ?? Could some one teach me how , how to said goodbye in nice way !!
Hmmm ... I know is nothing i can said at now ,and it was not or never change anything from now !! that only thing i can do is wish them happy ever after !!!
i fell sick now . i need a lot of rest ..........!!! i wish to escape now ... i wish to see him now !!!... Oh my god , a thousand of different felling was get in my mind now , what should i do , think , or said !! heart breaking !! why my dream never come true , why he was choose to married her !!! ( deeply sign )
Tonight .. i was with all my friend going to watch 2012 , though i can get off from this all thing , but is not !! i was not really concentrate to this movie , and i was made a younger man mad of nothing , haiz , my life seem getting worst !
But i was be lived i want a totally new beginning at this very moment ....!! i want a totally brand new me on next year . i need to bring my new bf to show him .... see ... i was getting stronger ,.... getting more merchant , i wish to ..!!
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